Like I Was Saying...
Weird, weird day.
Jake woke me up with an issue that reminded me of one of a fun customer I once had.
We’ll call her Tammy.
Now, it wasn’t Tammy that called me. It was the company Tammy hired to help her out. Now, the guy that I talked to I remember sounded -- defeated. As if he’d lost his soul in some epic battle between good and evil.
He kept on referring to Tammy, as if she was “he couldn’t be named.” I remember thinking, guy, Tammy can be that rough, perhaps you just don’t have me years of finesse.
So he gave me Tammy’s number and I called her up.
In just my first phone call, I understood what the guy was facing. Tammy was a Karen that believed the world owned her everything. Tammy laid out her wants like a mad general on the battle field expecting his battle worn troops to charge heavily armed pill box six more times.
I took it all down, word for word. Told her we’d work on it. And work on it we did. Worked through the complexity of what she was wanting.
We got her signed sealed and delivered and was ready to move her on to the next phase of the set up. Now I warned my team about Tammy. I made calls, told ‘em about Tammy, made sure they were ready to dot their “I’s” and cross their “t’s.”
I moved her on. Blessed silence.
Silence.
Then one day I get an angry screed from Tammy via email telling my team was failing. I did some checking and my team was waiting on Tammy.
I coordinated the best I could, but alas, Tammy decided to cancel. I tried to smooth it over, but Tammy was adamant.
So I cancelled her, feeling a tad bad it hadn’t worked out.
A couple of months later, Tammy comes back via another channel, and we help her again, but this time her needs are more complex. Again, I sign her up, coordinate with my team to get her onboard.
And again, after some hard and tough conversations, she decides to cancel again. My team was doing everything they could, but Tammy was unbearable.
This time we have to refund her, which takes an act of congress. Plus, everyone is frustrated with her and I decide to give her an ultimatum.
Either she works with us and allows us to finish the job or we will cancel her account indefinitely. I put in writing.
She responds, “I don’t want to do business with you anymore.”
I should mention here, I’m not selling ice to an eskimo. She needs us and I know she needs us, but Tammy is unbearable.
So I cancel her out and give her back her money.
Then a couple of months later, she comes back.
I thought about giving her a third chance, but with permission, I email her back one of the most satisfying emails I ever wrote.
I reminded her that per our last correspondence (I loved using corporate speak) we had agreed to cancel your account indefinitely and wish you luck on finding another program to service your needs. (Send)
Sometimes customer’s aren’t worth it. Especially if they’re just going be hard about somethings.
It’s okay to fire a customer.